Monthly Archives: July 2011
When young people are thinking about the future together, and over time, the period of “romantic encounters” turns into family relationships . Upon marriage, each of the newlyweds draws mental pictures for yourself, which, he thinks, will accompany him during the subsequent years of harmonious family life. But the conflicts that accompany family relationships from the very first months of marriage, suggests that not everything is as simple and smooth as we would like. No wonder newlyweds at weddings older and more unworldly relatives I wish you patience. 202.JPG” /%
So why patience? The science of family psychology in recent years has gone far ahead and watching the many couples in the early formation of their relationship, came to the obvious conclusion.
It’s no secret that every argument to blame for both. In order to avoid the negative consequences of the first months of marriage, I advise at the stage before the wedding to reflect on yourself, on your desires and on the partner with whom you are planning to spend their future life.
The most common frustration that bring family relationships in the first months of marriage
It is revealing some of the negative qualities that are not evident in the partner in your brief moments of Dating. Some habits, stereotypes of behaviour in everyday life, some stable point of view on some things that you just couldn’t learn to living together, and Yes, even some personal intimate habits that you didn’t know. Such situations can be quite a lot. Here for spouses important is understanding and calm to refer to new “discoveries”, not drawing attention to them.
Time for family or for yourself?
It is difficult to overestimate the importance of your comfort zone, which should be in every man. Until the time marriage person manages their time freely, to no reporting back. But in the marriage have a little set aside their Hobbies and otherwise distribute personal time, literally taking away from his friends, and giving to your partner. This transition can be quite painful, because of mental adaptation of each individual. Don’t limit your partner only pastime with you: a little later, when your spouse is a little adaptable, he wants spending more and more time.
Are you ready for self family “swimming”?
Not less common situation is where a financial issue. Young people are used to living with the support or from her parents, now turned out to be “free swimming” and all of the decisions for the allocation of Finance fell on their shoulders. Well, if one or both spouses are sufficiently independent to overcome these moments, and if not? The lack of money in the family in most cases leads to a deep and protracted conflicts, which is sometimes very difficult to get out. And here begins a third, very important reason for conflicts – an appeal for help from the parents.
On one side the couple want to be independent, and they are unable or not yet ready psychologically to them (i.e., independent) to be. In this conflict it is important to put yourself in the place of her husband, to try to understand or even justify it.
Do not withdraw into yourself, and try all conflict, controversial and exciting questions to discuss calmly and in a timely manner, not “burying” them for their grievances and grudges. You may need a certain amount of courage or even the preparation for this conversation.
Try to be more tolerant of their half, taking the side of the partner, and not the parents .
Because at this stage a very strong love relationship isn’t ruined long-standing grievances, and therefore sometimes quite strong embrace and a passionate kiss to your family relationships “went to sea”, not stoores near the shore.
Not taking hasty decisions, even before marriage try to look closer to your partner, identifying in advance and gently smooth the issues that may affect you in future family life. If you have questions and doubts, anxiety or fears, family counseling psychologist and will help to avoid many errors and make your marriage is really strong and happy.
Seek professional advice, you will be able to get answers to the questions “How to distribute responsibilities in the house?”, “What “personal boundaries”, it is advisable to leave a partner, not absorbing it as a whole?”, “How to build the right relationship, dividing the roles of men and women in the family?” and many other exciting moments.