It’s funny that on the one hand, no one seems to take seriously trite platitudes, but, on the other hand, they still shape our worldview. And, to be honest, sometimes we are abusing truisms, not thinking about the fact that half of them are lying.
1. Opposites attract.
It is not true. At the stage of “candy-bouquets-passion” sure it’s fun when he’s a boy-Zhigan” and you, “the girl-Pai”, but life is not a chanson. You can have as many different personalities and temperaments, but if you really decided to be together, and you have to look in one direction. The common goals is what makes a marriage strong.
2. Men love cozy women at the plate.
Not true. Men (here’s the miracle) there are all sorts. And they also love different women. Love, by the way, not for the ability to prepare borscht and the ability to rivet the heirs male gender on a piece in a year. Comfort and family happiness in the atmosphere, not to clean floors and curtains with frills. Although, casing also doesn’t hurt.
3. An adult cannot be changed.
Not true, if only we are not talking about mental illness and pathologies. People in the course of his life changed repeatedly, shape his circumstances and experiences. But marriage and children – and is the experience that will inevitably bring about changes in character and behavior. Of course, from Piero never hatch harlequin, but small habits will inevitably change. Compromise, compromise, again a compromise and now you’re a little bit different person, a little calmer, a little more patient, a little more clever.
4. The best marriage is when you are friends with her husband.
No. This is not so. The best marriage is when love and friendship go hand in hand. On a pure friendship, alas, does not go far. You need to be friends with pals, and between the spouses must be a mutual attraction, and the ill-fated butterflies in my stomach, and even interdependence. Friendship is, of course, but the Foundation for a lasting marriage she never will be.
5. Can endure – together.
There is an opinion. And not only older people, but those who consider themselves so smart and expedient that he was ready to give up feelings for the sake of reasonable and mutually beneficial marriage. Now to Staritsa it can endure, and “together” is unlikely. The marriage is likely to be and respect, and mutual care and even common interests, but the emotions – sometimes silly, sometimes crazy, sometimes tedious, but often delightful will never happen.
6. Truly loving each other people understand everything without words.
Marriage is not a funeral, I’m sorry. Is there supposed without words and with sorrow in his eyes to eat Christmas pudding. In a marriage, it would be nice to be able to voice their concerns and aspirations. And then, you think he is silent, because everyone understands, and in fact he already doesn’t care about you. So let’s not be afraid to tell each other that we are not satisfied with what we expect and aspire to.
7. Children strengthen marriage.
Strengthen how. But only when your marriage without it sustainable. And when everything is kept together and is still here and will fly to hell, do not count on saving the baby. The child is not super-glue. And his appearance will only accelerate the inevitable process of destruction of your already frail marriage. You need this?
8. You cannot forgive infidelity because she will repeat itself.
Lies. People (again) different. For someone cheating – the collapse of all life and tragedy in the spirit of William Shakespeare of our, and someone is able not just to survive infidelity, but also to come out of it strong and indestructible like the Terminator. To forgive or not to forgive infidelity is solely your choice. And the fact that “well-wishers” telling “go away, without hesitation”, so it is their own misconceptions and fears. Nobody knows your partner better than you, and your family certainly deserves a second chance.
9. An open relationship can vary long and boring marriage.
Can. And even diversify for some short time. But to share my favorite and the closest person to someone even if it is “unimportant and disposable” unbearably hard. Because we are all terrible owners, as if we did not deceive ourselves. Inevitably, jealousy, anger, resentment and suspicion. And from them until the divorce was imminent. In General, it is better not to try if not sure. If sure, it is also better not to try.
10. Sooner or later, all “burn out” and love will end.
That’s really bullshit. Any relations are on the sine wave. In marriage there are peaks and downs, crises occur regularly (young & old) and that’s fine. The worst thing you can do at the moment one of these perfectly normal and predictable crises – is to declare that the relationship is outdated and marriage Khan. The main thing is not to rush but to wait, be patient and not to forget that you love each other.